October 1st

October is my favorite month, and so I thought it would be nice to compile everything I love about it because it's so special to me and represents so much nostalgia and possibility at the same time. I am particularly excited about this October. Year 23 did not bring me what I thought it would, and tonight, on my favorite night of the year, I choose to see that as a blessing in disguise. I hope my 24th October (and year) is one where I can utilize the lessons I learned and what made me grow as a person and experience what is meant for me. Not every year can be happy. I believe that certain hardships grow character and build your foundation. And now, I'm ready for something new. And it all begins with the revitalization of autumn.

October 1, 2009:

U2 performs at the University of Virginia at Scott Stadium in Charlottesville, VA. It was my first time seeing them right in front of me. October 20th is the anniversary of the first time I saw them ever.
"People get ready for a birthday serenade,"Bono sang to me, pointing in my direction. It's a moment in my life I'll never forget. The friends I made this night, the beautiful people on this warm, warm, warm, warm, warm night in the chilly evening...they are irreplaceable. This night changed my life. Beth Nabi, I would be lost without you. My Goal-is-Soulmate has stuck by me through everything for four years, and she is the photographer of the picture I have had as my desktop background for four years.

My first time seeing U2 in the inner circle, front of stage.

October by U2:

It's the promise of hope and eternity even amidst what is seemingly dead and falling apart around you. It's all always temporary. The leaves always come back.

October
And the trees are stripped bare
Of all they wear
What do I care

October
And Kingdoms rise
And Kingdoms fall
But you go on...

...and on...

I Heart NY:

I've been thinking a lot about this episode of Sex and the City where Big moves to Napa and says goodbye to Carrie. And it's the beginning of autumn, and she has to put a blanket on the bed, and at the end of the episode, she picks up the first fallen leaf:

It was official. A new season had begun. Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come into your life and people go. But it's comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you're very lucky, a plane ride away.

It's always been my favorite episode, and with some things I've been through recently combined with my passion for fall, that quote makes all the more sense to me. I've been missing New York so much recently. I miss even more that overcast sky with beautiful autumn leaves blowing all around. I miss home.

Halloween:

I think most people know I love to impress with my Halloween costume. I was the Joker nurse, Carrie, Mrs. Mia Wallace, American Beauty, Black Swan, Gotye, and this year I have some ideas. It's thrilling how far you can take it for Halloween. You can be WHATEVER or WHOEVER you want to be! It's amazing!

And all the rest:

Boots. Scarves. Red lips. Seasonal nails. Apple. Pumpkin. Hocus Pocus. Festivals. Wine nights. Water cooler TV.

A child looking at ruins grows younger
but cold
and wants to wake to a new name
I have been younger in October
than in all the months of spring
— W. S. Merwin, The Love of October

"I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers." —L.M Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

Rabbit Rabbit. Happy October :)

Let your heart speak to other's hearts.

Today was a hard day. Without getting into too much detail, suffice it to say that I fully believe that people are designed to love other people. I think when it comes down to it - that's the point of life. Who we spend it with, what we do, what we share, and what it makes us learn about ourselves.

I always internalize things. And I always think in terms of big picture. It's amazing the way people ebb and flow in and out of your life. A memory of someone is never complete. You just never know.

A Body is Art

It's slowly been hitting me how much room I have in my life to be healthier. I have absolutely zero self control when it comes to food, and don't even bother asking me what moderation is. The biggest challenge of living on my own for the past 1.25 years has been food. 3 meals a day plus snacking is hard on a budget and little care for taking time to prepare good meals. I've decided to make a significant change in my life and actually learn the art of cooking and preparing food that is nutritious. I come from a family that knows food. I grew up in healthy food. I am finally ready to make this step and hope to feel much better. I've suffered from migraines for about two years now. Anyone who has ever had a migraine knows the torture that goes along with it, and I am hoping that a change in diet will alleviate that stress.

So, thanks to support from friends, I've decided to go Paleo. Don't worry...even I am still learning what this means. Basically, it's Primal living. Not eating processed foods. I can feel my body withdrawing from sugar. I don't plan on being a freak about it, there is no way on God's Green Earth that I will not eat cheese ever again. I'm taking it very seriously, and I've already learned a lot in just a matter of days. I'm cooking in bulk (which I should have been doing this whole time). I am making sure my plate is COLORFUL! I'm eating the healthiest I've eaten since moving out.

Autumn: the best season of the year and one I hope to enjoy fully due to positive changes and positive mindset. I'm already feeling that autumn spirit. It's amazing how driving with my windows down puts me at so much ease. And playing just the right song in that moment...there's nothing like it. People need to slow down and appreciate these things more. In autumn, the air hits you just the right way. Jackets, scarves, boots, pumpkin, Hocus Pocus, memories and nostalgia, Halloween...this is my favorite time of year. I did not have the best summer. It brought me down in a lot of ways and made me start thinking about everything that tends to scare people. So I am reminded of the end of the movie 500 Days of Summer. People either hate or love the end of that movie, and I love it. Because Tom went through hell with Summer, and just when he least expected it, he found Autumn.

I hope to find my own form of Autumn this season. I'm putting all my energy into thinking happy thoughts and embracing the fact that I can transform my health and body and make it art. I want to read. I want to try something new every single day. I want to be an amazing cook. I want to create serenity. I want to find the hope that I lost this summer and begin all over again.

Twentysomething

Well, I started a blog. I started a blog because I'm sick of being a single twentysomething and feeling like I have nothing to say when there's so much to experience and share. This is the decade to do it all, and I am constantly wishing this time away because I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing, where I want to go, or who I want to be. I am hoping that some sort of outlet will help me pave the way to finding that expression of who I want to be, and even more so, help me enjoy this time. That's all I really want to do. I'm going to be 24 in 3 weeks. Officially mid 20's. I know I'm still young, but I want to see the world. I want to make friends everywhere. I want to stay close with the friends I have. I want to meet the right man for me. There's a whole lotta want there...and God knows there's already been a whole lotta learn.

Alright, guys. It's no secret. I love the Internet and all its magical technologies. I am a certifiable Facebook Whore. I'm so good at it I should be in the FBI. I love a good cat picture. I am tickled pink when I pick the perfect Instagram filter. I've been known to use the word "snap" as a verb all too frequently. But all of these things stand for a higher purpose: they are my outlet to stay close with my long distance friends who I miss deeply. And I simply love to entertain people. It makes me wonder why I didn't think of a blog sooner...to put it all together. I do; however, fear I spend too much time on this stuff. Therefore, I'm using the blog as motivation to go out and experience things to get the satisfaction and joy of writing about them and sharing them with people I care about.

I mainly intend to talk about my life, the humor in it, my neverending struggle between loving food and loving fitness, teaching myself how to cook, trying the Paleo lifestyle (but not being an asshole about it), music, the tv shows I binge watch, fashion and make up, having expensive taste on a budget, my friends and family, and my journey through the unknown.

So here's to being a single twentysomething. Enjoy my crazy...for I am woman, hear me roar.

Ugh. Now I have to go listen to Katy Perry a million times.